Something Nubian

While sitting, standing, lying down and well everything else is nerve racking, the one thing that is the most annoying is what to wear dealing with chronic pain symptoms of fibromyalgia!

My achilleas’ heel

I never really liked wearing high heeled shoes, it was never really my thing. My mother wore them all the time and she had really bad repercussions from it but she wouldn’t stop though. All her outfits looked so much better with them but now after all those years she is suffering from her back down to her toes. I learned from then and of course my own personal experiences that I didn’t want that for me. I find that most women are attitudinal due to their outfits: shoes, pants and wig too tight all at once. And they spent all that time putting it together, now they mad at everyone for the decision no one helped them make. The plight of us women is so unjust at times.

Appreciative that we don’t wear hugs

But then, when fibro came into my life, I still had to adjust my wardrobe even more. When I was diagnosed I was much smaller in weight, too so this was another challenge. You see, with fibromyalgia and other chronic pain illnesses almost everything that comes in contact with you becomes annoying, even hugs!

I like hugs, too.

The Closeness of Clothing

However one of the most aggravating things to deal with while awake and having fibromyalgia is wearing clothes! Clothes are what is close to you all freaking day and all night!! The attire you chose has to be kind to the areas where you feel the most pain. With Fibromyalgia there are at least 20+ spots and counting. So what is the uniform for this here outfit?

Being naked is best!

Okay, you can not go to the grocery store this way nor work. So, the best way to explore this is to ask those who are dealing with the same problem, social media is a really good place to start or use your own (best) judgement! There are so many products geared towards our emotions for this diagnosis. And all of them can’t be right because we are all different.

I have had conversations with individuals that say they have fibro and it does not keep them down in any way. I say that they don’t have the shit and are looking to make us that really do look bad. Fuck them.

But for those that do have it and are making choices each day to be real with their everyday experiences, what you chose to wear is like trial and error. Especially with bras.

I find that bras cause a lot of pain in my ribs and back. I am a G therefore I am busty and the pain from my ribs and back aggravate the pain points in my upper back and shoulder’s. At this point, I’m like fuck these clothes, I want a breast reduction! And that with my many other health issues may not be wise. I am still on the hunt for no wires but no success yet. So, while in public, I take it for the team. Savage X Fenty and Cacique have been supportive for me. And I have yet to try the Butterfly collection by Jill Scott. Bras for a sista’ like me are pretty expensive so I can’t really afford to just make a purchase just for the name.

I stopped wearing panties until I figured out what does not cause a flare for me with them on. Yes, something simple like “squirrel covers’ can be an uphill battle! I went through plenty of issues with the rolling and riding. The annoyance caused flares. So, the best thing for me to do was to stop wearing them all together. That meant no more short skirts or shorts of any kind unless I was at home and in my room.

When hurricane Michael ripped through Panama City back in 2018, and the town was left in shambles, Dillard’s had a huge sale and I ran across some new brands like Wacoal and Natori. Their brands to me are pricey, and I would not have ever purchased otherwise but due to the storm the store had to sale the “damaged” items at a rather low price! So panties were in again. The best choices have been no seams without support.

For the most part, I examine how my clothes make me feel inside and out! I look for comfort, style and fulfillment. As a Black Woman I enjoy supporting Black Owned businesses or small businesses in general and if there are mainstream designers that have products that suit my needs I patronize them, too. But first and foremost, I choose fulfillment. I am a walking statement and ambassador in my own rite.

In public, I wear clothing that has less buttons, zippers, elastic and is not form fitting. Pulling on your clothes all the time is the worst. Before I leave my house I move about, by standing, sitting and walking to see how my outfit works for me to wear for a long period of time. And if it is annoying then it is removed, sometimes mentally placed in a pile to be donated. Someone could get better use out of it than me.

At home, I wear a kaftan or caftan, some people call them muumuus. However there is difference indeed. Kaftans/Caftans are more of a cultured and stylish long robe, while muumuus are like something you throw on and actually wear because it may be the only thing that fit comfortably due to weight or body type. My husband calls my kaftans ‘church robes’, he does not like them but when he finds that’s all there is, it is anything but churchy!

I don’t know what most women do but as soon I hit the door from being out, my shoes come off and so does the underwear! I like being comfortable always, no matter where I go. When I was working full time, I brought a sweater, comfy socks and a blanket to work to at least make the attempt to stay all day.

Occasionally, I love to dress up and dress down equally, so t-shirts, hoodies and sweats with running shoes is definitely an option most days. I don’t look for 100% cotton because those appear to be a bit rough and do not stretch around my pain spots. Usually, dressing up can be uncomfortable; there are usually sequences, buttons, zippers and harsh material and I purposely avoid them, I like clothes that sway, are long and cool, since my temperature raises and decreases I like to have the choice of bringing a cardigan to deal with my inner thermostat.

Yoga pants seem to be a big hit, I like them too but won’t purchase without pockets (shrugs – I know it’s not just me), however they are not as comfortable as you would think! They are contouring to the body, so they suck you in at your “troubled” spots like stomach, hips and thighs and can be killer to pull on and go to the bathroom in. Some ladies won’t wear them or leggings, saying the closeness of them to the skin causes extreme itching, believe it or not. And this is definitely why I chose the kaftan over everything. If the struggle is real had an explanation that is it!

In all honesty, it may feel like a war fought all alone but it can be both a learning and teaching experience because what I have learned and am sharing is that all comfortable clothing are not as comfortable to the next person. My kaftans and no undies may be totally against what another feels they should do in their home and feel they need something more less confined and that is totally fine. I am more comfortable with this because my grandmother did it and so did my mother.

Some women sleep in a bra, and that is something I could never do! Maybe I should have but could not reach that good sleep I strived for. Leave a comment below and let me know if any of these suggestions helped you. I’m curious