Something Nubian

Fibromyalgia, Disability, Mental Health & the Exhaustion of “Proving It” 🦋☥

There’s a special kind of exhaustion that comes from being sick while constantly being asked to prove you’re sick.

Not just to doctors.
Not just to disability offices.
Not just to jobs.
But sometimes even to family, friends, and society itself.

And during Mental Health Awareness Month, I think we need to have an honest conversation about what that does to people living with chronic illness, especially those navigating life with Fibromyalgia.

Because after Fibromyalgia Awareness Day passes, the inspirational graphics slow down, the purple ribbons disappear, and many people quietly return to fighting battles nobody sees.

Including the battle of trying to survive financially while their body feels like it’s betraying them daily.

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“You Don’t Look Sick” Is Not Medical Care

One of the hardest parts about fibromyalgia is that so much of it is invisible.

The nerve pain.
The brain fog.
The exhaustion that sleep does not fix.
The burning muscles.
The migraines.
The stiffness.
The sensory overload.
The emotional fatigue from hurting every single day.

Yet many people are still denied disability because their illness cannot be “easily measured” in ways systems prefer.

Reading through comments from others living with fibromyalgia revealed something heartbreaking:

• Some people were approved immediately.
• Some fought for years.
• Some needed lawyers.
• Some were denied multiple times.
• Some were told fibromyalgia alone “wasn’t enough.”
• Others only received approval after developing additional illnesses.

Think about that for a moment.

Some people essentially have to become sicker before the system believes they deserve support.

That is not compassion.
That is survival-based gatekeeping.

And it damages mental health in ways people rarely discuss.

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Chronic Illness Is Already a Full-Time Job

Many people with fibromyalgia are already doing mental gymnastics every day:

• Calculating energy levels
• Managing appointments
• Tracking medications
• Stretching through pain
• Trying to work
• Parenting while exhausted
• Smiling through flares
• Explaining themselves repeatedly
• Fighting guilt for resting
• Wondering whether today will be a “functional” day

Now add paperwork, denials, deadlines, evaluations, court appointments, and fear of losing housing, food assistance, or healthcare.

That pressure changes people emotionally.

Not because they are weak.
Because they are overwhelmed.

There’s a reason anxiety and depression often walk beside chronic pain. The body and mind are not separate kingdoms pretending not to know each other. They communicate constantly. 🧿

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The Emotional Cost Nobody Talks About

What happens mentally when someone spends years being told:

• “You’re too young.”
• “You look fine.”
• “Maybe it’s stress.”
• “Try exercising.”
• “Everybody gets tired.”
• “You can still work a little.”
• “Your labs are normal.”

Eventually people begin doubting themselves.

They question their own pain.
They feel guilty for resting.
Ashamed for struggling.
Afraid of being judged.

Some push themselves until they crash completely because survival requires performance.

Others continue working through unbearable pain because they know denial is likely if they stop.

That’s not empowerment.
That’s desperation wrapped in productivity culture.

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Mental Health Month Should Include Chronic Illness Conversations

Mental health conversations cannot only center motivation, positivity, and “thinking better thoughts.”

Some people are mentally exhausted because they are physically suffering every day.

Some people are emotionally depleted from navigating systems designed to delay help.

Some people are grieving the version of themselves they used to be before chronic pain entered the room and unpacked its bags like an unwanted relative who doesn’t contribute to rent.

And still…

People with fibromyalgia continue showing up:

• raising children,
• creating businesses,
• caregiving,
• homeschooling,
• working,
• loving,
• healing,
• creating art,
• and trying to maintain dignity through it all.

That deserves acknowledgment.

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Stop Making Sick People Earn Compassion

One thing that stood out in those conversations was how many approved individuals were willing to share advice, encouragement, lawyers, timelines, and resources.

That matters.

Because when systems become difficult, community becomes sacred.

People should not have to navigate chronic illness alone while also trying to decode complicated disability systems.

Information should not be gatekept.
Support should not be conditional.
Compassion should not require proof of suffering.

If you’ve been approved, advocate for others.
If you’ve been denied, your pain is still valid.
If you’re still fighting, keep documenting everything.
If you’re exhausted, that exhaustion makes sense.

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Fibromyalgia Is Real ☥

Fibromyalgia is not laziness.
It is not attention-seeking.
It is not “all in your head.”
It is not weakness.

It is a real condition affecting real people trying to survive in bodies that do not always cooperate.

And during Mental Health Awareness Month, maybe we should stop asking chronically ill people to constantly prove they deserve care.

Belief should not require collapse.

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🌿 Journal Reflection Prompt

What parts of yourself are you still trying to defend, explain, or prove to others in order to feel worthy of support?

Write honestly. No performance. No masks. No survival script.

With love, rhythm & divine alignment,

La Trecia Reiki RaEss Founder of Something Nubian Reiki Master • Holistic Homeschooler • Positive Inner-G and Journal Therapy Coach 💌 www.SomethingNuBian.com | IG: @SomethingNuBian

✨ “Education is sacred. So is your child.”