By: La Trecia, Positive Inner-G Coach
There was a time when hearing the word “Christian” made my spirit tighten. Not because I didn’t understand it—but because I knew it too well. The rituals, the rules, the guilt, the hierarchy of who’s worthy and who’s not. I used to wake up every Sunday reflecting on why I felt a deep sense of betrayal around the people who claimed to love in the name of God—but often didn’t walk in love at all.
It wasn’t confusion.
It was clarity knocking.
And one day, I finally opened the door.
💭 Early Impressions: A Childhood of Watching My Words
Growing up in a home with strong Christian values, I learned early that certain things weren’t to be said—like “oh my God.” My grandmother was quick to remind us, “Don’t say God’s name in vain!” Respect the church. Respect the rules. But what happens when the rules don’t respect you?
What I saw didn’t always match what I felt. There was love, yes—but also judgment. I didn’t realize until later that I was growing up under two invisible weights: the need to behave, and the deeper need to belong.
⚡ The Shift: When Spiritual Friendship Turned Sour
I had a friend—a Christian woman—who changed the course of my life by encouraging a relationship that eventually became my marriage. And then she flipped on me. That betrayal hit different because it was wrapped in righteousness. It wasn’t just a falling out. It was the realization that people will weaponize religion when your truth no longer benefits their version of you.
Let’s be clear—I wasn’t “fast.” I was just aware.
Part learned behavior.
Part knowing what I wanted out of life.
But when you grow up being labeled for being too bold, too early, the church doesn’t ask why.
It just tells you to sit down and pray harder.
😔 Religion as Control, Not Connection
Moving in with my parents for a while, I started going to church again—thinking I was doing the “right” thing. But the deeper I got into it, the more I felt boxed in. Switching denominations revealed even more contradictions. The closer I got to “God,” the more I felt like I was losing myself.
When I walked away, people didn’t ask if I was okay. They tried to guilt me back.
“You’re not that busy.”
Meanwhile, I was raising kids, working full-time, and going to school. That kind of grace doesn’t always exist in religion. And that’s when I knew—I had to redefine what grace looked like… for me.
🌱 My Inner-G Redefined: God Beyond the Walls
Now, I know the truth.
✨ I am the micro to the macro.
✨ I share the same God as the plants and the planets.
✨ I don’t need belief systems to validate my worth.
Spirituality, to me, isn’t performance-based. It’s presence-based.
It’s how I speak to the moon, how I water my plants, how I check in with my children, how I breathe life into my body when I’ve been carrying too much.
That’s worship, too.
🕊️ Love Without Agreement
I still love the people in my life who don’t share my beliefs. I honor their walk. But I don’t shrink to make them comfortable anymore. I show up when I can—and I walk away when I must. Because I’m not confused.
I’m courageous.
🧘🏽♀️ For You, If You’re Healing Too
If you’ve ever felt trapped in a faith that judged you more than it held you, just know this:
“The most powerful thing I ever did was walk away from what harmed me, even when they called it holy.”
Your spiritual journey is yours. Not your family’s. Not your pastor’s. Not society’s.
Yours.
✨ Want to Begin Reclaiming Your Own Inner-G?
Download my low-cost printable journal:
🌀 Unchained A Journal for Spiritual Awakening, Divine Wealth & Innerstanding
Includes:
- Reflection prompts
- Affirmations
- A ritual for release
- Healing visuals created with love
👉🏾 Click on this link for A Journal Therapy Experience
You don’t need permission to evolve.
Your courage is sacred.
And your spirit? Already divine.
Asé.
Something Nubian 
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