Something Nubian

Reality TV and Polygamy

As a wife and mother of four, dealing with fatigue, and chronic pain associated with fibromyalgia I find watching television is one of the best coping mechanisms, next to writing. Most say it may cause some stress due to the myriad of drama displayed but the luxury of choosing which genres for your pleasure is what makes it amazing during flares.

I love to watch anything dealing with law and order, including reruns of Law & Order franchises. I catch Wendy Williams as I am getting my morning organized, a little news and reality tv on demand sometimes throughout the day.

One of the shows I have been watching from the beginning is Seeking Sister Wife

Let’s face it, more people are in polygamous relationships than they are willing to admit, especially those who screenshot text messages, listen to voice mails and get piles of evidence for months! It’s not funny, but it’s true. They accept what their significant other is doing until they are able to present them with all the evidence they could find and then at times stay hoping a threat or two will change them. Leaving them to do again, repeating the same cycle.

That is polygamous but they want to call it cheating so they could play the victim, no one knows how many times they have accepted this behavior in their relationship. When they take the cheater back it is acceptance. And I am not judging.

No judgement here, not everyone knows what others put up with in their personal relationships when no one else is around. However, they allow their significant other to spend time with another and feel all the same feelings a Sister Wife feels at times: jealousy, loneliness and fear.

Sister wives have different coping mechanisms for dealing with those emotions they get busy doing the business of a sister wife and what is required of them. The ones that expose their lives on tv are at the mercy of the editing of what we see on tv and the news.

And the Snowden’s from Seeking Sister Wife are in the news again.

They are also my favorite couple on the show. I can relate to them more than the others. Why? I am not religious, white, or Mormon and I have been in a similar situationship.

Season three started with knowing that Vanessa Cobbs was no longer in the picture and is currently living in Australia with her sister. The sister did not really believe her choices with the Snowden’s were good for her.

On the show, Vanessa’s own mother said she just wanted to be on TV. Most look at their relationship as some sort of selfish act or fetish on Dimitri’s part but overlook if these other women may be using them, some say she was a fan of the show contacting him via his DMS.

I believe that when Vanessa’s mother said prior to their union that she just wanted to be on TV, it sent a red flag for me but I did not expect her to bounce so fast. Are there any plural families out there that last longer than a season of the TLC show?

Couples like Will and Jada Smith or Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys seem to be holding it down in their lives including their previous wives. Not sure if they are in a plural marriage but they seem to make it work and keep the details of how they interact daily out of the public eye other than vacations. And that is how it should be.

DeRay Davis on the other hand as of February on his interview with the Breakfast Club says he is fully committed to his relationship of two years with his two girlfriends and make sure everyone knows about them. He says they do not have threesomes although he has asked. He says usually a man has two women, it is just best, to be honest, and find that if they are women will be more accepting. From personal experience, this is so true.

I was hoping things worked out for the Snowdens’. I don’t judge, I like to see people win.

People make reference to Dimitri and Ashley’s ‘spiritual union’ as if he is misleading her but legal marriage versus faux marriage is about the state of mind to me, they are not breaking any laws. It’s just paper, so sign other papers like deeds, life insurance, and wills, etc. No difference

Besides marriage on paper is more about politics and capitalism, in which sends the union to it’s death over money. And they are judged by a different standard. It’s hypocrisy.

Social media want to get to the meat and potatoes of what goes on behind closed doors like are the wives sleeping together, are these new women just maids and nannies, not what are their real intentions, such as what skills they are bringing to the union. Because apparently all the women the Snowden’s trusted only brought drama pretending to bring more.

And now it seems they are out not one but two women this time. This season they decided to court two women and just like the last time, after the I dos, they suddenly didn’t.

Dimitri Snowden married South African native Christeline Petersen and within a year she was claiming spousal abuse. Which this charge has since been dissolved by the court and she is awaiting the finalization of their divorce.

Turns out Ms. Taylor the second potential sister wife and hobosexual seems to have a lot to say but is bound by the NDA she signed and can only suggest the whole show should be on the canceled culture list could be looking for her own thing. She sent a red flag being irresponsible by not wanting to go back home at the last minute and rushing things. I immediately felt sorry for the Snowden’s because it seemed to me they were put on the spot and hoping Christeline would help them tell her she didn’t have to go home but needed to get the hell out! Maybe this was something the two women planned since they seemed to be so close?

Now apparently the original sister-wife Ariadne Joseph, who was never seen on the show nor signed an NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement), has been providing information to Christeline about her previous experience along with Vanessa some say. Dimitri’s now fourth wife Christeline has been gaining empathy from many and a go-fund-me page has raised money for her and her children so they will have somewhere to live.

Four women are speaking out against the Snowden’s forthwith, all saying the same thing. Now the bible says when two or three come together and agree in one name it must be so, but remember this family is not religious; did not come together for religious purposes, so does this really make it so, or is this what they call ‘fake news’ and a ‘witch hunt’?

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Polygamy is a personal choice like religion. While polygamy is usually based on religious practices, the secular world is taking its own approach in hopes of not being judged as well. But this is not the case. People are watching and making their own assumptions. Many are not agreeing with it and claiming men are manipulating women into this situation. As if women have never done this to a man, in any capacity. I say these women are adults and know what they are getting into. My real concern is the children involved. They grow to love their new mothers, as well as the parents, do, and when intentions are not good the children suffer, leaving a void in everyone.

I say putting your relationship on public display opens your life to all types of scrutiny and attacks. Some can’t wait until things fall apart so they can say it is not what was meant because they simply did not agree with it. I wonder how many will stand in solidarity for Polygamy’s rights as they do PRIDE rights? What is the difference? Especially when there are children involved…

Most people hate on what is different from their way of life and wish more harm would come their way than the wishes of those involved. I wish them nothing but positive vibes.

As someone who suffers from chronic pain and fatigue, having a sister wife is ideal, for various reasons. My husband would love it, he would have two women to not only be intimate with but a time for me to rest while in a flare, I don’t have to have more children if he wants more.

Not to mention, my children will have other children to socialize with. It can be less stress on all parties involved especially when there is a clear understanding of what the vision is. Each wife can bring in her set of skills that will improve the quality of life for everyone.

It is no question what a beautician, lawyer, entrepreneur, doctor and holistic practitioner would bring to the table. Having uncomfortable conversations about emotions and situations will only improve the relationship not dismantle it.

In The Black Woman’s Guide to Minding Her Own Business there are techniques to ensure there is balance in your living situations with or without a sister wife. And in or out of this type of union, finding strategies to use would benefit keeping any relationship afloat.

Sending positive inner-G