Something Nubian

I didn’t know.

That’s the part that keeps ringing in my ears—like an echo that won’t let me rest.

I didn’t know that what they casually called “silver teeth” would come with mercury. I didn’t know that what was supposed to be just a few fillings would turn into twelve. I didn’t know that my child’s ability to follow directions, regulate emotions, or speak clearly would shift after that visit.

And I didn’t know I would carry the heaviest guilt of my motherhood journey because of it.

Now I do.

醴 The Day Everything Changed

We went in for what felt routine. I trusted the process. I signed the papers. They said it wouldn’t take long.

But when he came out, my baby’s entire mouth was filled with silver. No one warned me. No one paused long enough to explain that “silver” fillings were actually amalgam—a mixture that’s 50% mercury.

Mercury. In my child’s mouth.

And from that day on, something in him changed. Something in me changed too.

爵 Mercury in the Mouth… Mercury in Retrograde

It’s ironic, isn’t it?

Right now, we’re in Mercury Retrograde—a time for reflection, revelation, and redoing. Mercury rules communication, and I’ve been watching my son struggle to express himself. Watching him disconnect. Watching myself spiral in silence.

But Mercury Retrograde also brings second chances. Rewrites. Realignment.

So here I am, writing through the shame, anger, and heartbreak—not to wallow in it, but to witness it. Because this isn’t just about fillings. It’s about systems that don’t give us full truth. It’s about how Black mamas are told to “just trust the experts” without being told the risks. And it’s about the grief that comes not from making a mistake—but from not being given the choice in the first place.

易 What I’ve Learned

Mercury—the metal—is a known neurotoxin. It affects the nervous system, speech, and cognition. And while the dental world debates “safe levels,” my mama gut knows what it knows. Something shifted. And now we’re here, navigating the ripple effects.

But we’re not helpless.

I’m learning about gentle detox. I’m using Reiki on his throat chakra, praying over his speech, and pouring blue light and love into his energy field. I’m putting cilantro in his juice and whispering affirmations into his pillow.

“You are safe to speak. You are heard. Your voice is powerful.”

And I’m forgiving myself. Every. Single. Day.

 To Every Mama Who Didn’t Know

If your child has silver fillings and you’re just now finding out what’s in them, I see you. If your child’s behavior shifted and you can’t explain why, I feel you. If you’re carrying the weight of not knowing until too late—you are not alone.

You were doing your best. And now? You’re doing even better.

So give yourself permission to cry. To rage. To write. To research. To reclaim your power.

Let this Mercury Retrograde be a return to your voice—and your child’s.

Affirmation for the Mama With a Heavy Heart:

“Even in retrograde, I move forward. I release the guilt of what I didn’t know. My child is healing. I am healing. We are divinely protected. Asé.”

With grace, grounded power, and moonlit truth,
La Trecia Doyle-Thaxton aka ReikiRaEss 🪬
Positive Inner-G Coach | Reiki Master Teacher
Curator of Healing Dreams & Moon Magic
http://www.SomethingNuBian.com