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The Third Eye Reflection: When Those We Trust Are Struggling Too

By Reiki Ra-Ess

We all want something to lean on. Some look to scripture, others to affirmations, while many seek wisdom from mentors, lovers, or community elders. There’s no shame in needing support, in seeking guidance when we feel lost. But what happens when:

  • The husband who was meant to love, honor, and cherish starts neglecting, dismissing, or even disrespecting?
  • The spiritual mentor, coach, or teacher who preaches clarity and healing is caught up in their own chaos?
  • The belief system—whether religious or holistic—that once felt like a beacon of light suddenly feels like empty words, unable to anchor us in hard times?

This is where many unknowingly give away their inner power. We don’t just seek comfort, we hand over responsibility for our well-being to others—expecting them to be steady when life inevitably shakes them, too.

But what if, instead of feeling abandoned or betrayed, we used this moment to reclaim our power?

Why Do We Give Our Power Away?

The reasons are complex, layered, and deeply personal. But some of the biggest themes include:

1. Fear of Facing Ourselves

Relying on someone else’s certainty feels easier than sitting with our own discomfort. If they have the answers, we don’t have to struggle to find them. If they fall, it forces us to confront the unknown—and that’s terrifying.

2. The Illusion of Stability

We equate external wisdom with internal safety. If the husband remains constant, if the church stays consistent, if the affirmation coach always has the right words—then we feel okay. But life isn’t linear. No human, no text, no practice will ever remain unshaken forever.

3. Conditioning to Seek Approval

From childhood, many of us are conditioned to please, to obey, to trust authority without question. Women, in particular, are often taught that love means sacrifice and that faith means endurance. This can lead to a deep reluctance to question those we trust—even when our own spirit is whispering, “This isn’t serving you anymore.”

4. The Desire for Validation

It’s comforting when an external source affirms our worth—whether it’s a husband’s affection, a mentor’s reassurance, or a spiritual text that speaks directly to our pain. But when those sources waver, we’re left wondering: “Am I enough without their validation?”

Reclaiming Our Power Without Losing Our Faith

So what do we do when the people, beliefs, or systems we once leaned on are struggling too? How do we find strength when external sources of guidance feel weak?

It’s time to shift the perspective from dependence to empowerment. The goal isn’t to discard our faith, relationships, or belief systems—it’s to stop outsourcing our power to them.

Here’s a Trio for those who feel abandoned, uncertain, or betrayed by the instability of those they once trusted:

Trio for Reclaiming Power Amidst Uncertainty

📖 Scripture: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23

🌿 Affirmation: “I am the keeper of my own energy. I choose what enters my spirit and what must be released. I honor my intuition and trust myself fully.”

✨ Action: Sit in stillness with your hands over your heart. Take a deep breath in, imagining golden light filling your chest. As you exhale, visualize any energy you’ve given away returning to you, piece by piece. Whisper to yourself, “I reclaim what is mine.”

Rebuilding Without Bitterness

For those experiencing disappointment, whether from a partner, a mentor, or even a faith practice that no longer resonates the way it once did, the goal is not to harden, but to evolve.

We can hold love for those who have guided us, even when they falter. We can honor past beliefs, even when we outgrow them. We can forgive, without making ourselves small.

Because real strength isn’t about standing firm in someone else’s truth—it’s about finding our own.

So to the ones wondering where to go from here:

🔹 You are allowed to question without losing faith.
🔹 You are allowed to love without sacrificing yourself.
🔹 You are allowed to seek guidance without giving away your power.

And most importantly—you are allowed to trust yourself.

Self-Preservation 101: Reclaiming Your Power

I’ve got an Aries Sun, Libra Moon, and Capricorn Rising, so trust me: I love initiating bold new starts (Aries), seeking harmony (Libra), and building my empire (Capricorn). All that requires me to hold onto my power like it’s a designer handbag on a 90% off clearance. Here are some ways we can all do that:

  1. Set Boundaries
    • Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Guarding your heart can be biblical and it’s definitely a key principle in the holistic world. Don’t let just anyone’s issues invade your peace bubble.
    • Resource: Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend (a Christian-friendly approach) or Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab (for a more modern, inclusive lens).
  2. Honor Your Own Intuition
    • Yes, it’s great to glean wisdom from biblical verses or a top-tier affirmation coach. But always run that wisdom through your own internal “Does this truly resonate?” filter.
    • Resource: Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette. It’s not Christian-focused, but it’ll remind you that your inner voice is real and worth listening to.
  3. Affirm Yourself
    • We love to recite Scripture like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Combine that with a personal affirmation: “My strength is also within me; I tap into it daily.” This way, you keep the focus on your inner empowerment alongside divine support.
    • Resource: Check out Iyanla Vanzant’s work—she often weaves biblical language with self-empowerment.
  4. Detach from Perfectionism
    • Your spouse isn’t perfect. Your coach isn’t perfect. The biggest spiritual guru on your timeline isn’t perfect. If we cling to them like they have the only key to our salvation or success, we’ll lose ourselves in the process.
    • Audre Lorde once said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” So keep that perspective: self-preservation is vital, not a luxury.
  5. Reassess Your ‘Why’
    • Why did you start leaning on that particular scripture or coach in the first place? Was it for encouragement or to outsource your emotional well-being? If you’re outsourcing, it’s time to pull back and refocus on your own capacity to heal and grow.

Making It Plain: Takeaways

  • Faith can be a Tool, Not a Trap: If you’re Christian, see God as an empowering force within you, not just an external lifeline. If you’re not Christian, you can still respect the concept of a Higher Power while recognizing your own inherent strength.
  • Coaches and Mentors are Guides, Not Messiahs: They can point you in a positive direction, but ultimately, you do the work.
  • Self-Preservation > People-Pleasing: Protect your heart, your spirit, and your time. Don’t give 100% of your energy to people who aren’t ready or able to reciprocate.
  • You Hold the Key: Whether your language is Scripture, affirmations, or a mix of both, remember that you have the final say in your inner world.

Final Reflection

The people we trust will stumble. The wisdom we once clung to will be challenged. Life will test what we once thought was certain.

But our ability to anchor ourselves, to stand firm in our own knowing, to trust our own intuition—that is something no external force can take away.

Whether you find strength in scripture, affirmations, meditation, prayer, or simple quiet self-reflection, the truth remains:

Your power is yours.
Always has been. Always will be.

Resources for Further Exploration

📖 Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life – Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
📖 Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab
📖 Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind, and Spirit – Queen Afua
🎧 Podcast: The Homecoming Podcast with Dr. Thema Bryant – Topics on self-worth, spirituality, and reclaiming personal power.

Closing Thought

No matter what—or who—you’ve leaned on in the past, remember:

✨ Your intuition is sacred.
✨ Your voice matters.
✨ Your spirit is strong.

And if ever in doubt, come back to this truth: you have always been enough.

This blog holds space for those who have felt abandoned by a source of strength, misunderstood by their communities, or disempowered by relationships that no longer serve them. It acknowledges the pain but offers a path forward: a journey toward reclaiming personal power, self-trust, and inner wisdom.

Because the greatest healer, the truest guide, and the most reliable wisdom you will ever find… already lives within you.

✨ Stay strong. Stay grounded. Stay whole. ✨

✨ Reiki Ra-ess ✨
🌿 Renaissance Empress | Positive Inner-G Coach | Reiki Master Teacher
💡 Guiding you to reclaim your power, one insight at a time.
📍 Follow for more: @SomethingNubian | @WealthyRaEss (cashapp)

#ReclaimYourPower #InnerWisdom #PositiveInnerG #BoundariesAreSacred #HealingJourney #TrustYourself #SelfPreservation #HolisticHealing #SpiritualGrowth #Awakening #SelfLove #EnergyProtection #DivineAlignment #EmpoweredLiving #BreakTheCycle #HealingInRealTime #KnowYourWorth #SpiritualWisdom #SomethingNubian #WealthyRaEss

🔥 Ready to reclaim your power? Don’t just read this—practice it. Save this post, share your thoughts below, and let’s get back to center. 💫

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