By Reiki RaEss
In a world that thrives on hustle culture and constant participation, missing an event can often feel like a failure. But what if I told you that choosing not to attend is one of the most powerful moves you can make for your health, boundaries, and energy? As a Positive Inner-G coach living with Fibromyalgia, I know firsthand how important it is to protect your energy, especially when dealing with chronic illness. The truth is, when your reality doesn’t align with someone else’s agenda, their response might reveal more about them than about you.
This blog will dive into why missing out isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. Instead, it’s a sign of self-awareness, strength, and setting healthy boundaries in a world that constantly demands more. Let’s talk about how to recognize the manipulation and guilt-tripping that come with missing events and why prioritizing your well-being is the ultimate form of empowerment.
When Missing Out is Really Tuning In:
There’s a certain type of guilt that comes with not showing up—whether it’s a friend’s gathering or a professional event. And for those of us dealing with chronic illness, that guilt can quickly turn into shame when others don’t understand the reality of our energy limitations.
Here’s the truth: Your life, your body, and your health don’t have to fit neatly into someone else’s plans. And when your truth isn’t in alignment with someone else’s agenda, your absence can be weaponized against you. In my experience, it’s easy for people to frame your decision as an “excuse” rather than the reality of living with a chronic condition like Fibromyalgia.
Red Flags: Guilt Trips & Manipulation as Bullying
I’ve missed multiple events hosted by the same entity, and what I noticed over time were underhanded bullying tactics—manipulating me into feeling like I had missed out on something important. This manipulation is designed to make you question your boundaries and feel like you’re not enough unless you comply.
Here’s a tip from your Positive Inner-G Coach: Any entity or person that makes you feel like setting boundaries is a problem isn’t someone you need in your circle. This is a clear red flag.
I had to realize that being pressured or guilted into attending things isn’t healthy for me—mentally, physically, or emotionally. My energy is limited, not just because of Fibromyalgia, but because I’ve worked hard to protect my boundaries and honor my own journey.
Boundaries Are the Ultimate Power Move
Setting boundaries is a form of self-love, and that includes saying “no” when your body and energy are telling you to rest. Chronic illness forces you to create boundaries—whether others respect them or not. Choosing to distance myself from people or entities that can’t honor my truth is what keeps me grounded and strong.
As a solopreneur, I’ve found that creating my own lane was the healthiest path for me. Instead of constantly having to explain or justify my truth, I’ve built a business and lifestyle that supports it. Being a solopreneur allows me the space to honor my limitations while still thriving, on my terms.
From Guilt to Growth: The Shift in Perspective
If you’re struggling with guilt or shame over missing events or not showing up for others in ways that drain you, let me remind you that you are enough as you are. You don’t need to overextend yourself to prove your worth. In fact, missing out can be the ultimate power move—it shows you’re in tune with your needs and not someone else’s agenda.
Shifting the perspective from guilt to growth means embracing the power of setting boundaries. It’s about creating spaces where your truth is enough and your well-being comes first.
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