Something Nubian

Rickey Smiley has always been and still is a funny man. I try and listen to his show in the morning when I am driving to some of my appointments.

However, seeing him in a state like this, stopped me for a second, as I reflected on a time when our family received news about my brother.

While it is not funny at all but around 2 minutes into the video he says “I got my keys and took a bath” I felt that, because grief will cause you to disconnect from reality. Getting out of bed and simple self-care can be too much to bare.

He also said, “pray for my son’s mother”! He did not make this about himself at all….

(I broke down a little bit)

As of today, although some vloggers speculate otherwise, the details on what happened to Brandon Smiley has not been determined, only that there was no ‘trauma or foul play‘. Al.com

All of this is transpiring, as the nation is watching Tyre Nicholas being laid to rest after the video release of his murder by cops that looked like him. I can’t help but to be reminded about my own family.

Watching this video of Mr. Smiley hold back tears and then seeing the late Brother Tyre’s mother crying (on the news) as her son was just 180 ft. (60 yards) from her call on her while the hands that were expected to protect him was taking his life, is a lot to take in right now.

I now have a son to raise and my mother had two. My father was in our lives but he lived in another state (physically and spiritually)

When I was around 19, my brother was shot by a security guard at a night club, they literally tried to end his life according to what the bullet holes showed on the car he was rushed to the hospital in. As I hang my head in sorrow, Brandon Smiley and Tyre Nichols were taken from their loved ones.

Our family didn’t lose my brother but while he had to have multiple surgeries we were not sure if he would make it, that was almost 30 years ago.

I watched Brother Tyre’s mother speak on the pain in her gut and my mother and I both reflected on the signs we received from the Universe before the incident occurred in our family.

The night before, my mother heard a gun shot, loud and clear. She said she couldn’t remember if she was asleep or dreaming but it made her sit right up in her bed and tremble in fear. She said she thought about my brother and made a call to him.

When he answered, she asked him what was he doing for the new year (December 31, 1995),

he stated he was going to stay home.

She told him “good, stay there because Bush passes the concealed weapon law at midnight!”

My brother and I were very close growing up, he was a protector and provider when he saw the need to be. So, this outweighed any sibling rivalry we had encountered throughout our lives.

Panam City Beach, 2010

The year he was shot, my daughter and I took a trip to Alaska during the holidays and were due home on January 1. On the 30th of December, I dreamed about my brother and I was led to call him. I felt the need to tell him if he had plans to go out on New Years to stay home instead.

On our phone call, he told me that he was not going anywhere, so I never mentioned the dream at all. Thus, I didn’t even tell him not to go out. What he told me was enough. I’ve regretted it ever since. He was shot and rushed to the ER that night on December 31.

Our Creator knew

My brother is really superstitious, so I can’t help but to wonder, if I had told him about the dream he most likely wouldn’t have gone out. My brother didn’t play about certain things like, sweeping his feet with a broom or mirrors breaking. So if I had mentioned the dream it may have spooked him a bit and he may have stayed home. Maybe he would have thought our Creator knew and sent me to be the messenger because he may not have listened otherwise. I guess I did not understand that assignment and it hurts still to this day after my brother’s wounds have healed, I feel as though he would not have the trauma he suffered. I am constantly distracted which hinder listening to my gut, even til this day.

I can’t help but wonder if Mr. Smiley had a gut feeling?

I wish for better on myself and family. I also hope that the Smiley family will get the results they need from the coroner for his son Brandon so that they may have closure. I believe the family of Tyre Nichols will have some but it will be a while as others are coming forward about this Scorpion Unit that has now been “disbanded”.

In 2021 (26 years after), I finally confessed to my brother about the dream. He never knew about it and I told him when were face to face. I also told him that I was glad he was still with us and not just in spirit. I can’t help but wonder if I had not called at all would he still be with us, since I did part of what was sent for me to do.

The way I learned of my brothers incident was a relative trusting her gut. When I arrived back home to Austin, TX my cousin came banging on my door around 7 a.m. to alert me because everyone thought I was still out of town. I thought about the dream, covered my head and screamed, because I knew I was not having a nightmare.

And this is why I ache for the Smiley family and the family of Brother Tyre. All situations are tragic. I can not imagine what it is like for them, and I can’t help but to see my own brother and my families situation in both situations.

So, while I take this pause I want to give gratitude for my brother being here today and send positive energy to the Smileys and Brother Tyre’s tribe.