Something Nubian

I have been working things out though. I took a really long break to continue to homeschool and raise my son. He came into the world November 2017, much sooner than expected and that changed my life.

Shout out to all the mother’s who gave birth to a preemie and they are now grown! You are now my hero! I freaked out and it didn’t hit me until the first day I had to go home and try to go back to normal with a baby that I could not bring home! I had an episode at dinner and my daughters didn’t know what to say or do. They had never seen me cry, even when I miscarried the baby prior to my son arriving. I just rested and told them I will get better.

They saw me behave in a strong manner and I healed quite nice, so I thought. We never spoke about it and moved on with our lives. I sent them away and cried and slept. I did not believe I could bring another child into the world but my son showed me otherwise.

Now, he is three and I am slowly but surely getting back to work, writing and blogging. I won’t lie, I gave up on it all. I didn’t want to write. I didn’t want to do anything. I focused on getting him to his appointments (cardiologists and pulmonologists). He came home with tubes still attached and this was so new to me.

Alarms went off in the middle of the night when he would stop breathing. I couldn’t even let him sleep in his own room for fear I would not get to him fast enough. He made me strong. I had to be because I did not want him to feel my energy of being afraid. I guess that made him fearless because he doesn’t fear anything now! He climbs on everything and approaches animals in public.

I am grateful to the process but at the time it was horrific. My entire pregnancy was smooth. As mentioned before, I suffer from an illness called fibromyalgia and did not have one flare for seven months! However, soon after they came back. So, I found myself battling flares, homeschooling, pumping breast milk, taking milk to the NICU and sitting with my son for a few hours everyday, for at least 3 months. It was exhausting!

At 6 weeks we had to fly to Orlando so that he could have open heart surgery. When he came out, I hardly recognized him, the anesthesia bloated him and he just did not look the same. I questioned if they brought back the right baby.

This trial period let me know just how resilient babies are. That gave me the confidence to know that I could bounce back, too!

When I last posted I was advertising my first book that I self-published The Black Woman’s Guide to Minding Her Own Business. But I got inspired to heal myself and write.

I spoke so much healing into my life that I began to manifest into becoming a Reiki Master of Healing Energy. While becoming certified, I published a journal to compliment my book. The Journal is called The Black Woman’s Journal to Minding Her Own Chronic Pain.

This journey has taught me many things, like you never know what you are made of until you have to face it and never think that certain situations can’t happen to you. I’ve learned to tell myself everyday, ” I have everything I need” and greatness kept happening. Not saying that nothing else will go wrong but in the midst of the fear and anxiety, know that you do have everything you need especially when you are of sound mind and body, the spirit will guide you through the rest.