Something Nubian

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CGsOkXVHjko/?igshid=m5h175itnvp

I  am triggered. Meeting these dudes seemed fun. Looking for these types of dudes appear to give you what was missing…money, protection or a new way to live. Their cars and music took you places you’ve never been before, them either.

While there were smiles, this was also a traumatic time for some queens. And although there was bread in the streets, someone was being  lied on, cheated on and beat on behind closed doors.

In this game, it looks like someone is winning but they are fighting a battle that they can not tell anyone about, the abused and the abuser alike. During this era women were abused regularly by the men they loved and had to seek comfort in the church or someone that reminded them of happier times, or both. I know all about it first hand. Some live and walk away, some fight back and stay, and some retaliated by killing or get killed. I am a survivor!

I am healed and healing. Many can not say this. It was very difficult to ask for help but no one can be healed alone. I received help from those that were aware and unaware.

I see this video and it reminded me of what I experienced and those I knew who had gone through the same. Week in and week out, holding down a household, parenthood and employment wishing to be rescued, or hoping to die, so it will end.

Those that endured the 90s drug dealing and gang banging are not better than those dealing with it today should be grateful they have someone to mentor instead of judging. These are our offsprings and the offsprings of others from that era that they choose to bring home. Are they going to procreate? Creating this over and over.

I never thought it would end, some days were good, the trips, the gifts and new restaurants. Those events helped to deal with the down moments, the comments of those who have not suffered so severely by the hands of a person you trusted with your life. I saw this video and remembered my life was threatened if I left and harm would come to the ones I loved. The ways I was manipulated into believing they had that much power is amazing!

The beautiful thing is they don’t have power over me anymore. I manifested my way out of it. I spoke over my troubles and the universe put together a plan. It was rough but a lesson was learned.