Something Nubian

 

Several weeks ago I began to notice that I have been losing and forgetting things lately;  first, it was two bottles of alkaline water and then my favorite pen.

 

The bottles of water were left at the ER and doctors office, and the pen was inadvertently sent back to the teller in the drive-thru at the bank while making a withdrawal. All of which were gifts from my significant other!

The pen was for belief in my writing capabilities … I was his personal/office assistant with great benefits so after a few months of platonic hangouts becoming more than friends was a given, that was several years ago.

 

This handsome guy is far from perfect but perfect just for me! Anything I need or want, he makes it happen almost instantly, at times with a motive but most often for love in return. The only things he has truly asked me for was his own seed and an extra wife, which previously left us (but that’s another story).

 

This year,  for his birthday, I surprised him with a pregnancy  (hence the trip to the emergency room ), it would have been the doctor’s appointment but I was having chest pains. In all actuality, I was the one surprised, since we had not been preventing for a couple of years.

The trip to the ER turned out okay but the events following, during this Mercury retrograde, had me making lists and checking them twice.

 

There was miscommunication on bills and employment Leave of Absence, technological issues, old friends inboxing me, and so on and so forth.

 

The worst of it was ultimately having the gift slowly dissolving from my womb because of the lack of opportunities to rest without processing all that was happening.

 

Every appointment led to a follow-up that was an easy fix but too many chains of command that wanted to follow protocol had over stressed me.

 

Each had no tremendous affect on my initial goal for rest and taking back control of my future destiny to become better than who I had settled for …. mediocre. My LOA was planned and the beginning to removing obstacles of this journey to get personal business in order that had been disorganized for a while.

I came too far and had too many experiences for this mediocrity.

As my body naturally discarded blood and tissue, my mind and body went through pain, blame, shame, guilt, depression, fatigue and fear of more loss, but once again my village came through for me with love and support I was able to heal!

 

I never would have made it without them. During this time I tried to save face for my homeschooled children, and my business. I was able to make bold moves that sold books, booked leads and “buffer” plans for the next upcoming year.

 

Overcoming this loss was difficult, I found myself worried about my pen from time to time for strong urges to write, even after my second visit to the ER and the doctor sent me home to miscarry this “gift” naturally.

 

This gift was going to be his first biological seed. No amount of money could replace it. It was the least I could do.

 

The Creator definitely took some mercy on me because I have not had any fibromyalgia flare-ups since my last active day at work.

That is something that I found truly bizarre, or is it?

Through self-discovery you can master overcoming loss with these tips:

 

Grieve  –

Feel all of the emotions and be as authentic as can be, however, don’t try to make it all about yourself. You are not the only one suffering a loss, your loved ones are suffering too and have to make provisions for you when you are resting.

 

Talk about it /Acknowledge it –

Make sure that you discuss how you are feeling so that you do not feel alone or isolated. Be sensitive, again this is not just your loss.

 

Bounce back –

When the opportunity presents itself, get up and get back to normal with a nice shower, and some tea; watch a movie but avoid the drama and social media until you can gather your thoughts. Play a few games with your surviving children and hug them.

 

Self-care –

Take control of self-talk and overall mental health. How you perceive things internally projects outwardly, so don’t go to war on yourself because things did not go exactly as planned.

 

Stay on course –

While taking some time to rest, check yourself …. what can you do that you have been putting off in the meantime? Start making small steps to tackling that goal such as writing short or long term goals.

 

When you are processing your emotions and feel like you could have avoided this if you had done this    (fill in the blank)     , then work those goals too.

But ultimately work on things you made previous plans to do before now to get you through this difficult time.

 

Be positive

This is similar to managing self-talk, be mindful of the things you are saying to and about yourself to others and vice versa. The U-N-I-verse always does what it’s told and when the solar return brings back misery it is because it was being obedient to your energy  (inner-G).

 

Make necessary changes –

If your loss came with knowledge of prevention make the change immediately. Period.

In a nutshell, I blamed everyone but truthfully I was not in a good space with my health. I needed to get my mental, physical and spiritual heart (chakra) in alignment to move forward.

Some of you may not know your root cause for your loss, but blame will not get you there, only the truth.

 

Namaste

La Trecia Doyle aka Femi Eshe