Something Nubian

This year has been a coming out party for me. I turned 40 and became an author. I was asked if I thought that writing a book would be lucrative, I said no. Boy, was I wrong!

I have faced many challenges in many factions.

As a young woman,  I have been interested in everything and because of it I make a point to try it out and if I don’t like it I never considered it as time wasted, I just accepted it as another lesson learned. Experience it the best teacher and I have made mistakes that I know are now an area I could offer assistance or insight but either way I know something about something.

I don’t consider myself to be a “fearless leader” but I have been known to reject following the masses. I may come around later but most of the time I am working on something that I can not be pulled away from just to stay focused.

By choosing to work toward my goals, I have made some uncomfortable or unhappy however I shared the same feeling turning them down.

I was once asked if I thought I would “make it” by writing a book and I said no.

Over a decade ago, I asked myself “if you know what you are doing is wrong, why keep doing it?” I learned some valuable things then that are still being worked through today. Here are my 10 lessons I learned this year:

Meditation is the Key to your Day 

Every mother wants that time alone to just be in silence, why not knock out two birds with one stone? Meditate.

It is simply time for listening and not speaking, hearing and not wondering. Meditation allows you to take a moment to appreciate silence, stillness, being, to love and be loved all becoming one with self. Create a space to invite all that you need to enjoy this time of peace; depending on where you are, choose a time to let go of the night and welcome the morning, so definitely right before day break while all is sleeping and the house is quiet as a mouse.

No One is You and That is Your Power (Belief in Yourself)

In the Black community, insecurity is high with low numbers of small businesses that help to combat the plight of slum, blight and unemployment. Many have to travel outside their neighborhoods to seek jobs, work forty hours and are not inspired to use their income to invest in themselves to bring in businesses to their area.

Clearly, there are choices, when you are not inspired to invest in yourself it is also possible that there is a lack of belief. Everyone has a unique gift, it will be similar to another person but no two people are exactly alike, even twins are different. What sets you apart?

What do you like to spend your time doing? What has gotten you in trouble that you just can’t let go of? How can you pull this off legally? Who are you when no one else is around?

Take all of those things and work on them every single day. It may require some funds but if you do not invest in you, then no one else will.

Say No

It is all well and good to help others and make sure they are happy, but don’t continue to allow it to be at your expense. When you have to give up more of what makes you happy for someone else it brings nothing but misery especially when the energy to get things for you completed is missing.

It is okay to say no when friends or family invite you to functions and you have your own plans. Do not allow others to make you feel guilty for investing in yourself.

Experience it the best teacher

I already know that I am a Millionaire, I just don’t have all my Money yet

When you make a commitment each day to work on your gift, you are creating future wealth. Many of us want it all up front but just ponder on all the times you did get a lump sum all at once, what did you do with it? Did you invest it in yourself?

When you began to pour into your gift, your gift will begin to pour into you, a simple universal plan.

I was once asked if I thought I would “make it” by writing a book and I said no. I was wrong. I may not make a million dollars selling one book but over time as I write each day mathematically I can make millions selling many books. When you focus only on the money, you will never have enough.

I am (have always been) addicted to bettering myself

I would never consider myself as the “black sheep” of the family,  however, I am different and I have always tried different ways to reinvent myself with knowledge so that I may move forward instead of staying in the same place.

I dropped out of high school but achieved a college degree to increase being gainfully employed.  I have always loved learning,  reading and writing which was a strong point for me, college taught me a lot about myself and have always enjoyed new information to add to what I already know. I make a point to continue research almost daily.

Having access to the internet can be a gold mine and is a goal of mine. I stumbled upon “open course ware”, although it does not provide certifications it does provide free online courses with quality educational materials. You may find more info @ https://ocw.mit.edu/index.htm

You don’t have to be a Genius to Homeschool Children

Unschooling or homeschooling is simply out of the box teaching. Do you feel you were properly educated in school? What are some things you wished you were taught in school that would have helped you in life? Why not teach those things to your children?

Each state is different as far as homeschooling is concerned. If you are interested in taking on this task visit your local school board or check online and find out more information on what their guidelines are to make this happen.

the internet can be a gold mine and is a goal of mine

I live in the state of Florida and their requirements are to have a certified teacher sign an evaluation that states your child is meeting the standard requirements for their age. This allowed me to create their learning environment the way I see fit as long as my child is able to comprehend knowledge based on their age group, but of course, we go above and beyond.

I began teaching with Chakras which opened an array of subjects such as reading, writing, spelling, science, physical education, social studies, economics, etc. Each year we add more to what we learned last year based on their level of understanding.

It is also great to interact with some families that are homeschooling as well for social interaction or community building.

Watching too much t.v. Can Steal Your Gift

Each day we spend hours watching old and new shows, propaganda from the news and not really using our time wisely to work towards our own gifts or self. When this happens we become depressed and worried about our future because we allow t.v. to flow into our psyche.

I had a slight panic attack about this very situation. I turned off the t.v. and began to write and slowly my anxiety began to decrease. That same week, I was invited to participate in an author showcase hosted by best-selling author Contessa Louise Cooper.

if you know what you are doing is wrong, why keep doing it?

Words are energy (write them wisely)

My mother says her mother told her our family is cursed, all the time. When my oldest daughter was born as she aged I would rejoice about how she was different  such as overcoming teenage pregnancy, high school drop-out and finishing college. I call her the “curse breaker”.

When you are careful with the words you use they become the energy you seek. If you tell yourself your family is cursed then so it will be but when you change your focus you will see that you have the power to speak a breakthrough in your way of thinking.

Let go of things that no longer serve/interest you 

Last year a really good friend moved away, it was bitter-sweet. I could not change anything about it, it was their decision to follow goals and aspirations to move forward. Each day leading to the move things became awkward and frustrating, which made me look forward to the move than wishing for a change.

I spent plenty of time advising to be careful with words and I knew they were always this way prior to meeting me because it was constant as well as abusive. Determining to let go of someone or something that you are used to dealing with every day can be overwhelming when it becomes too much it may be time to say goodbye and wish all the best.

Writing off a person is not like cutting off cable but if the situation does not bring you peace it should no longer interest you and serves a purpose.

I’m in the positive energy business

For at least two years now I have posted  a positive meme on my page almost every day, even when I was having the worst of days, I made myself look at the positive in the situation. Each day those memories resurface and although I don’t really remember what happened that day I know I was struggling with something and it was killing my business (personally and professionally).

When you focus only on the money, you will never have enough.

With all those positive “notes to self”, I can now see that my business has improved. I have published my first book called The Black Woman’s Guide to Minding her Own Business and sold more copies than I imagined.

Something Nubian is now one-year-old, my goal is to focus on ways to empower Black women who have ever been at their lowest in all areas of people activity (economics, education, entertainment, labor, law, politics, religion, sex, and war) by providing simple solutions to complex situations.

I have increased my clientele for my small business Alluvial Business Consulting & Writing Services, LLC. by narrowing my skills as a Virtual Assistant and focusing on my target market, part-time while maintaining a full-time position for another company (my first client).

Proudly, I am a blogger, author, writer, entrepreneur, and a mother. I was always told life would be very hard for me because I became a mother at fifteen and dropped out of high school. For decades I allowed the words of death to play on repeat but now I want to set the record straight. This year I told myself I was going to grow and allowed these ten lessons to fill my mind, body, and soul.

Something Nubian is now one-year-old

Namaste’

Femi Eshe