Something Nubian

Are you forced to deal with financial issues or simply gravitating towards it?

A poor person’s myth is more money, the less problems you have! Which is definitely untrue; the more money you have access to, the more expensive the real you become. Getting ahead is something that was not practiced constantly. For myself, living in fear of not ever having enough was learned behavior! I inherited worrying about money and therefore I became afraid to invest or work for myself.

The women that raised me have always been the “breadwinners”, some were divorcées who had to go out and make a living and hope their children’s fathers follow suit in sending promised funds. When the money did not come in they hustled for that light, gas or water bill money, especially when it was disconnected or about to be! Unfortunately, that hustle was never there for a full fridge, new clothes or a place to sleep, “grand-mama’s house” and hand-me-downs was the legacy created. Their belief was strong only in times of refuge but not their every waking, breathing existence. And because the Goddess in them came through they believed that the Almighty was powerful and never realizing where the true powers rested.

My parents dealt with money differently; they divorced when I was young and I immediately noticed their differences. Dad never spoke about money, I would overhear how much who made and where they worked on the regular with mom, so I made the terrible mistake in asking my father how much he made! I am not sure if it was because I thought he was not making enough to send to us or not, but I learned very early that was a big No-No! Other people’s money is no one’s business and they will tell you if they want you to know or you would simply learn by no one noticing that you are in the room. Sometimes others do not want you to make them accountable for what they do and money is one of those areas of accountability. With dad, there was a much different belief, he never talked about money. I did notice he was the check writer and mom was cash on hand from the “credit union”. I never heard them speak about credit cards either. I learned about credit from an aunt who tried to encourage me to order a boatload of music for $.99 and not pay it back because it will be off my credit report in seven years. At seven somehow that was what I remembered her for the most, she later passed away and every time I saw those deals in magazines once I got older, I would chuckle.

Avoiding bill collectors and sales calls were something I picked up on too. I know I am not the only one who has said to them “so and so said to tell you they’re not here”. No disrespect to them in any way, now I am understanding you just get in over your head at times or do not need any more debt, especially since there absolutely no such thing as “good debt”.

Unfortunately, you learn family support does not come from funds, but wisdom and experience and the belief in money make it difficult to know whose advice to trust! The struggle for me had to be unlearned and it is not wise to always be tight-fisted about your coins. When you know better, you do better. I definitely did not understand the power of giving until late in life but was not too late.

Being consistent is key in no longer being forced to deal with finances. When you give and pay on time others will trust you with more. The worst consistency is creating more debt to cover other expenses. Discover ways to save rather than spend. Time is as value as money so when you give, give wisely.

“One day I just decided I did not want to live like that anymore, so I changed. Just like that ”

~ unknown

I wish it was that easy that change, just like that! It did not happen for a while and some things are still coming back BUT what I can say is answering calls is much better than avoiding them. It pays to communicate in any situation. There may be programs within to get you out of your rut but you won’t know if you don’t answer.

For twenty plus years I would put off bills I could not afford until I filed taxes. I never truly had the pleasure of enjoying them, one day they were there and the next they were gone! This year I decided to break the curse. I paid my bills whether late or indifferent and when the funds came in I invested them into myself and my children. I enjoyed those funds, finally! Earlier this year I posted a plan for ways to handle taxes earlier this year, check out 9 Ways to Survive the 2016 Tax Season

Every year, I would plan to use them one way but then my phone would ring for another bill to pay. Not this year, instead I wrote down a plan. I paid for a tutor for my children that I homeschool and also took them on some much-needed field trips. It was a confidence booster that I was able to say yes when they would ask for something instead of telling them to wait. I was proud of myself for finally putting the funds to better use and empowering my goals such as contributing to my children’s education better and publishing my first book!

Had I took the same steps I had before I would still be wishing on a star! The Black Woman’s Guide to Minding Her Own Business published in paperback in June this year (2016) and I even invested in a coach! Sadly, I was just about out of funds when I found Terra Jackson the coach of my dreams but nonetheless got the help I so desperately needed. Without a coach, I would not have made the sales I have made.

The book was written during a time of physical pain and I began to journalize my daily routine which helped me to heal old mental wounds and increase my spirit to fight and learn what my body was going through. There was a time when I believed that I would not be able to get out of bed again or live life normal again. The fight in me was lost. But through certain techniques, my mental, physical and spiritual life improved. To learn more about more click here

These ideals will change my life forever! I gravitated towards breaking curses about how I dealt with money! My problems are not completely gone but I see what writing a plan and executing it will do. Some things are right in your face. I had been writing everything but a real plan.

Namaste